>you know how in middle school you liked to pretend *insert teen heartthrob here* was your boyfriend? and you’d daydream about how their tour bus would magically appear in your neighborhood and you’d go on this one fantastic date and live happily ever after. no? just me? oh well.
well, i am 24 now, but i still have my faux boyfriends. yes – plural. and a while ago, i came up with the perfectly sane and acceptable method to enable one’s self to have multiple faux boyfriends without making the others jealous.
i’m not sure when it happened, but i started referring to jason segel as my “hollywood boyfriend.” then when i moved to philly and discovered the Eagles, stew bradley became my “sports boyfriend.” i have a “work boyfriend” and a “train boyfriend” and many others – you know, the unattainable or untouchable guys who will, with 99% surety, never have a place in your life except to be gorgeous eye candy. and if they are people you see on a regular basis, you most likely melt into a puddle of mush and suddenly forget how to use your words when you see or speak to them.
over the holiday break, i was explaining my method to elizabeth, and i am proud to say that my wisdom has caught on.